How the store came to be - an inside look at my life before and after Haven

Intro:

To truly understand how the store was born, I have to give you the backstory of the year before it opened. I had just graduated college, and wanted to leave the US and move to Europe. It started as an idea my dad put in my head that the family needed to leave because things were getting bad here and he wanted me to scout out where we would move as a family. I travelled to London, Barcelona, Switzerland, Munich, Prague, and to Berlin before returning home. I loved Munich and felt it was central hub that would allow for easy travel within Europe. It was clean, good healthcare, and the people were smart and financially responsible. My dad decided they didn't want to go after all...but I did, so I decided to go without them. I sold all my belongings to friends and strangers, got my dog Koda an international microchip, and we were off!

Part 1: Munich

Fast forward 3 months and I was living in Munich, working as an au pair for a family. The host family, with two adorable kids aged 2 and 4, were becoming increasingly demanding of my duties in the house. It went from watching the kids, to also making lunches, to them trying to pressure me into doing their laundry, then them intentionally sabotaging their own laundry to blame it on me. They didn't want me to have a break, instead I should be vacuuming while Lavina slept. Arguably the final straw was when they got a Bernese Mountain Dog puppy (because the kids did so well with Koda) and wanted me to raise it. What they didn't know, is the 4 year old Leandro had started grabbing fistfuls of Koda's fur when his father would discipline him, and she became fearful and aggressive toward the children. On top of this, when you don't show someone respect, the kids pick up on it, so the boy had started to yell and throw things at me. So now I have the responsibility of 2 dogs and 2 very small children, and no support from the parents.

(Left: Lavinia & Leandro at Oktoberfest, Right: Kollabo Shop party with my friends)

(Left: Koda, Right: a family dressed as Smurfs for Fashings in Wattens, Austria)

The first thing the 40 year old mother told me in the car when she'd picked me up was "Thank god you're here, I never wanted to be a mother." Her husband had threatened to leave her if she didn't have children with him. She'd try to live vicariously through me by taking me to weird bars that only had older men in them. I'd burnt myself out within 3 months, and was overjoyed to stay home while they went on holiday in Austria. When they returned, the father cornered me in the kitchen while I was having a midnight yogurt and scolded me aggressively, saying the neighbor told them I had a man in the house while they were away. It was frightening. I laid awake that night having a panic attack until I finally got up, packed all my belongings and had my friend Severin pick me up in the morning. I stayed with his lovely family for a few days while I looked for a new gig as an au pair. 

I had worked with kids before and found it enjoyable, but I wasn't really prepared at this time in my life to be put in a mother role - I was supposed to be like an older sister. They give you food and board, and a measly 60 Euros a month, and in exchange you watch their kids for 30 hours a week. I still had some money to get me by, but this set-back ultimately cost me my long term goal of staying another 4 years in school after my year as an au pair- at the time it was the only way I could get a green card to stay in Germany. But boy oh boy did I try to make it work. I took every odd job I could- teaching English to an Iraqi kid, playing guitar and teaching English songs with kids after school so when their parents picked them up they got to enjoy a mini concert. The next family I worked for was a single mother who worked 12 hour nurse shifts, and her children Ana (8) and Maximillian (12). She didn't want me to live with them, so she gave me 400 Euros a month to find accommodations. I took the job before realizing it was an overbooked year at the University there, and the only housing I could find that allowed the dog was a closet inside an architecture firm for 400 Euros. I had to go in and through the waiting room of a therapists office to get in. Public transport was free, and I could eat at their house but I wasn't there everyday. It was nice but I only made enough money to live and was burning through my savings which led me to eventually take a job in Ibiza where I was promised 8,000 euros/month to be the personal driver for a rich man and the paying guests at his villa. I had interviewed with him as an au pair to drive his son to soccer practice, but Koda lost me the job when she took a dump in the middle of their office. I should've taken her advice.

Part 2: Ibiza

My job consisted mostly of picking up guests from the airport and taking them to the property which was a literal castle on the top of a gated mountain. I was to live there in a room with the chef Jackie who I picked up in Austria in the new Mercedes he bought for me to drive out there. We drove 13 hours to Barcelona and took a 12 hour Ferry to the island. We got along well, and everything was perfect...until it wasn't. He never paid us. The other employees were Czech and we couldn't communicate (yes there was a time before phones had internet and calls cost you per minute), and the Brazilian employee Gustavo and I finally got into a rhythm speaking Spanish and Portuguese where he was able to warn me that no one there had visas and he had taken their passports, effectively trapping them all there. I left with Jackie the next day and flew out to Barcelona after about a week,  staying in the meantime with her parents' friends who live on the island (score!). The only person I knew in Barcelona, only let me stay for 1 night and then kicked me out leaving me homeless for 4 days. He allowed me to leave my dog kennel and bag to pick up on my way out of town. I made friends at the park, slept on their couch and eventually was able to make enough money for my flight back to Munich by spinning fire poi leant to me by a local in the town square. I got my stuff out of the house on my way to the airport, but my dog noticed something in the bedroom and lead me there. BLOOD. All over the bed. Large amounts! I remembered what happened to Amanda Knox when she was wrongly convicted of killing her roommate in Italy, and I was terrified. I left immediately to the airport and didn't contact or hear from them for 8 months. Not wanting to reach out and be connected in any way, I had left it alone until I received a message. "Did you make it home safe?" to which I replied, "Yes, no thanks to you."

My parents were concerned, and I didn't even tell them all the details. They wanted me to come home, and I wanted to make it work in Europe at all costs but it was just too hard.

(Left: Me posing with a Lambourgini SUV in front of a tree that looks like a giant nug, Right: Me, Jackie, and Koda going to a lunch spot on the beach)

Part 3: Albuquerque

My parents own Skate City Supply, which has been open since 1976 when it was Skateboard City. I grew up working there as a teenager, learning how to ollie over a crack in the concrete. I'd been going to the trade shows since before I can remember, and I was certain I didn't want to run it as an adult. I graduated college. I should be doing something important! They offered me a building they owned across from the University, and told me I could open a store. I could live in the back, the rent will be cheap. I hated the idea. I was meant for something bigger! I didn't want to do what my dad does! Part of me considered how much fun it had been at my friends Shop "Kollabo" in Munich and I felt like maybe I could recreate that. I felt like I was going backward, but I knew what I was doing wasn't working, so I admitted defeat and flew home.

I started working on a name - it needed to be a safe space for me but also for everyone else. I never felt comfortable in shops like mine growing up- they called me a poser. They made me feel unwelcome. I wanted it to be somewhere girls would feel comfortable going - something that didn't really exist when I was young. I decided the name Haven felt like a good fit. I liked that the word looked somewhat symmetrical, and I started drawing logos. I wanted to use every excuse for me to get a bunch of people together, and start building a community.

I put ALL of my energy into the store. I had little money so I served tables at High Noon Saloon and put it all into product, store fixtures, food, Costco sized bottles of Jameson with homemade ginger ale, and flyers. I opened on August 24th, 2012 as a sole proprietor, not knowing much about taxes, but felt I was doing pretty well for myself. I sold more every year but what I took home stayed about the same. The store was popular with the college students, and I was the same age so it was fun! I'd go to the trade shows and order stuff a year in advance, get all the cool new stuff and make it look pretty inside. I made graphics for the store to have stickers and T-shirts. It was all consuming. I had no free time, couldn't travel for more than a few days a year, and only had enough to live comfortably but not to save. My rent kept going up. When I'd make big money over the winter, it would be immediately followed by the slowest months. I got into a rhythm and started having employees. Then I got a skate team. Then a snowboard team. I offered ski and snowboard tuning, knew everything about all the products, and finally felt at peace with where I was. Then I started collaborating with artists and having art shows where I'd have them design a T-shirt and a board graphic. We had a famous artist Lucas Beaufort come to the shop from France for an event. We had a fashion show with The Remedy Day Spa across from us. We had video watch parties, and scavenger hunts, Skate to the River events. Parties every year for Ditch Slap contestants. It was a blast.

(Left: Lucas Beaufort live drawing on a photo of Team Member Mario Pena, Right: Skate to the River event)

(Left: Haven Anniversary Party, Right: Tuning a snowboard)

The money never got better though. I switched Haven to an LLC. I made more, but it went to the employees. I always had a second job, and often worked 60-70 hours a week. I moved into a rental with my boyfriend at the time just up the road and lived there for about a year before we decided to live in an RV in my store's parking lot so we could save money to travel. Then the Albuquerque Rapid Transit (ART) bus line "improvement" happened and customers couldn't access the store unless by foot for about 2 months while the street was ripped up the entire length of Central Avenue. This was a major hit, and most customers who tried to come, ended up at other stores. If I had still been living in the rental I would've lost the store. If you haven't noticed by now, I'm an eternal optimist. I rolled with the punches, but they just kept coming! Speaking of other stores, there were SO many that kept opening and giving away product, just to go out of business within the year. Every time it was a hit. Then two rival stores opened next door to each other within a couple of blocks of Haven. I stayed out of it, but was starting to feel like I couldn't keep up with it much longer. Because of ART I never got to travel and money was still tight.

(KOAT 7 doing a story on my "F" ART Sticker)

I started feeding the local stray cat who started hanging around. I'd first seen it watching 2 other cats having s*x on a car. I lovingly referred to it as Bystander Cat. I fed it just enough to keep it around so it would get rid of the mice - one can of Fancy Feast a week. It was scared, and would scratch me if I tried to pet it. A few months in he started to come in the store, timidly at first. I got sick of kids asking me why I called it Bystander Cat, so I shortened it to Stan. He followed me home to the RV one day and slept on my chest all night. From then on, he was my cat and I loved him. Then I realized he was a she! So she became Staniella.

(My sweet angel Staniella fully enjoying being a house cat)

During this time, my beloved Koda had a leg injury that caused a rapid decline in her health. They thought she tore something in her leg, but it was actually a pelvic tumor that had started to cut off her circulation to her leg. It was too far along and I had to put her down. I got her stuffed the following spring in Aguilar, Colorado. (you can see a photo here) https://huffmantaxidermy.com/petsforever/medium-dogs-gallery/#wg_1481-1473

Shortly after that we went out of town, but got held up and came home late. Staniella moved on because we weren't home to feed her and I hadn't paid someone to take care of her; something I'll never forgive myself for. I canvased the neighborhood - 300 flyers and only one weird guy that made me question if he had her. I was 8 years in to owning the store, and I lived in an RV, had lost my dog, my cat, now I had a new kitten someone had brought me, and I had broken up with my boyfriend. That felt like it was enough. I wanted out. So naturally, I doubled down and opened a second location in Santa Fe.

(Zeldie the new shop cat)

Part 4: Santa Fe

I had been bartending at the CrowBar up there, and it felt like a natural transition, since I'd made so many friends at my time there. I found a location in the front room of an old roller skating rink called Rockin' Rollers. The owners were sweet and weird and would forget they had given me permission to be in the rink. It was rarely used as a rink on a regular basis, there was also the ping pong groups and the bands that practiced there. I stayed overnight when I'd go and I'd run the store for 2 days in a row, and have employees there the rest of the time. But they all would move away. Santa Fe is too expensive to stay, and I couldn't hold on to an employee up there to save my life. I packed up and closed that chapter.

I started really dreaming of what my next career would be. 

Part 5: Real Estate

Then Covid-19 happened. They made me close the store for MONTHS! But you know what? This website that you're on right now, went CRAZY. We didn't know if Covid stayed on clothes and would infect the next people to come in, so I limited the hours, and set it up to where people could do curbside pickup, or order from the porch without coming inside. Once I was allowed to re-open I only opened 2 days a week and was bringing in the same amount as I had when I'd been open every day. I knew this was my opportunity to go to school and take the Real Estate Exam. I had online classes everyday for months! I would've never been able to do this before. And then the exam day came and I passed on the first try (apparently most do not)! I started working, and sold my first house. My first check was more than I had ever made in a single year at Haven. Can you believe that? Self employment taxes are 35% where I live, which made it impossible to keep going. I knew in that moment that I had to close the store as fast as possible.

It still took me 3 years. I had to sell the inventory but I was too busy with selling houses to have the store open, so I eventually just closed and stayed living in the building. I didn't want to move until I could buy a house of my own. I knew from the inside what it took to buy a house now, but still couldn't. My income was too unsteady and the bank doesn't like 1099 income. I needed to get creative. I started learning what it would take to flip a house - I'd helped my dad with construction my whole life, how hard could it be? I planned to use the profits to get into a house I could call my own.

The hardest part was getting financing. I called around 35 Hard Money Lenders trying to get them to give me a Hard Money Loan (HML), each of which wanted 3-5 flips experience before they'd give me anything. I finally found a local who gave me a chance. I found a home that was repossessed by the bank after the old man had died and his young gay lover and his family didn't pay, and eventually destroyed the home once they knew they lost it. I had to put in 3 offers on it before I won the bid. I did inspections, ran my numbers, and closed on the house. Then the garage door broke on the way down and I couldn't secure the tools - so I had to wait. Once it was replaced I got to work! It was a big house, so it took the whole year, but it was nice. I learned how to drywall, and remove and install flooring. I designed the kitchen and the bathroom, and I left the old man's fake leg hiding between the fireplaces I installed. I changed the whole house! It was beautiful. And then I sold it. 

(House Flip before & after of the kitchen - only the ceiling vent stayed the same)

I made a little profit, gained a lot of knowledge, and made a commission from the sale. My income was still 1099 so I used a DSCR loan and I put the money toward my very own home. I closed on the house in November of 2024, another home where the old man had died, this time most of his stuff came with the house. I sold a lot of it, and cleaned out lots of trash and got to work making the downstairs into an airbnb. I wanted to rip out the carpet and clean out the house fully before moving, but life doesn't always care about your first choice. 

I came home after a long day of showing houses in Rio Rancho, about 45 minutes away. I was starving and tired, but I needed to write an offer so I went straight home. When I got in the house, it only took a minute before I realized I wasn't alone. The house was dark, my cat was nowhere to be found, and there were shoe boxes by the door I didn't remember putting there. Was I just so tired I forgot an online order? I went to the bathroom hoping to find my cat in her litter box. I'm literally yelling "Zeldie!!" while loudly shaking her treat container. When I get in the bathroom I hear something behind me, turn around and there's a man in a ski mask and sunglasses coming at me with a gun to my face. Whatever you think you'd do in a situation, is probably not what actually ends up transpiring. I screamed, loud. Louder than I thought I was able to. Then I shrank back behind the wall before trying to catch my breath. My lip SHOOK. I remember telling myself to get it together before yelling "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

The man ran out and I followed, locking the glass door behind him. Then I cased the rest of the building. All the doors were open, there was broken glass scattered across the living room, past the boxes I'd been packing in preparation of my upcoming move. There was tons of product staged by the doors as well as the back fence. The man left his backpack, jacket, keys, and flashlight, so I was sure he was going to come back. The police came very quickly- shoutout APD. I think it was because I told them I was armed and ready to shoot if he came back. My cat came back, and I packed her and my valuables and we never slept there again. 

After that, the move took about 3 months of car loads on the weekends. I moved the rest of the inventory into my spare room, and for the first time in years I was able to live peacefully without people constantly having access to me. It honestly almost felt like I hid out for a year. I rented a booth at U Neek Findings to sell off the rest of the stuff from the store. It's been about a year and a half at the new house and it was exactly what I needed to help me recover from being a work-a-holic and let my nervous system stabilize. I work mostly from home, unless I'm showing properties, and I have found a great passion in helping people buy and sell their homes. I loved Haven and all the people and time spent there, but I outgrew it, and I've fallen in love with Real Estate and am continuing to learn as much as I can in my new field.

Part 6: The end of an era

I find myself missing the connection I had with my customers and friends I made at the store. It is an interesting thing when you are so deep in a scene for so long, and then your priorities shift. I guess this is what it's like to evolve as you get older. Time for hobbies and people becomes less. I hope that the community can continue to come together in other ways, and keep that alive. I'm still here for you, though I'm sorry that I no longer have a space to bring everyone together. I think it's finally time to fully sell off the last of the product and wholeheartedly move into the next part of my life. Thanks to all the people who supported my ideas along the way, and listened to the crazy tales. Even when it was hard in the moment, all I see is the story now, and I'm happy and grateful for the journey.

I haven't changed much, I still love to spend my free time outdoors hiking, biking, snowboarding, skating, and playing golf. I like to draw and read, go to concerts, coffee shops, and try new restaurants. I love to play guitar and piano, cook new recipes, go to the gym, play with Zeldie, and my newest hobby is riding motorcycles and traveling the country with my boyfriend Matt.

I love you all, and hope to see you in the next chapter. Grab a good deal while they last! For all the support, the laughs, the company, the experiences, the friendship - THANK YOU! DANKE! GRACIAS!!

How to reach me:

Follow me on Instagram at @EmiliaGoldRealtor https://www.instagram.com/emiliagoldrealtor/

Call/Text me at 505-948-9311

I'd love to hear from you and what you think of my story! 

I'm happy to offer you real estate advice, and if you'd like to work with me let me know and we can schedule a time to get together.